1.Chocolate Milka and purple cow
Ouch. It’s gonna hurt. A lot. I know that this news will cause your heart breaking and sleeplessness for the next two nights, but the purple cow is not Swiss. What even worse, nor the marmot putting chocolate in the alu-foil. It rooted deeply in our consciousness that purple cow equals the Alps, and the Alps equal Switzerland. Long, long time ago, first factory was in fact in Swiss Neuchatel and while in 19th/20th century change everybody kept thinking that white and purple cows and chocolate factories would stop working, just like in 2000 all computers were supposed to stop working, the Suchard family patented brand Milka and purple cow, just in case. Later, as it usually happens in life, during the next 100 years Mr. Suchard got married and divorced among the others with Tobler, Jacobs and Kraft Foods till finally he took a family name after his latest husband, Mondelez International in 2012. Deeply grieved cow stopped mooing in Switzerland and marmots moved with their alu-foil to the pastures in Germany, Austria, Serbia, Bulgaria, Slovakia, Romania, Costa Rica, Brasil, Argentina and even Poland. So, after all, the purple cow is also partly spotted-Polish.
The good news is the golden Easter bunny is Swiss. Most people link it of course with the brand Lindt, proudly announcing itself on every chocolate bar as Maitre Chocolatier Suisse, although hardly anybody understands what it means.
2. The banks are made to be robbed.
Polish attitude towards Switzerland as valley of banks was set forever and ever after thanks to the best movie-tribute dedicated to Switzerland, Vabank by Juliusz Machulski. In the final scene, the biggest pre-war bank thief, Kwinto stands in front of Schweizerische Kreditanstalt to cash the legal check, and his comrade, Dunczyk asks him: Doesn’t that itch you? It does me….
(the movie is a must-watch, here you can find it with English subtitles).
It itches us all, maybe not a bank robbery, as in Switzerland there are more than 600, so it would be difficult to choose only one. But at least one small bank account, tiny cute account with not so tiny amount in it. Everybody trust Swiss banks and the banks guarantee even bigger discretion if you pay enough for guaranteed confidentiality. I must admit it looks like quite a good deal as there are about 50% of foreign assets. Have you noticed that during famous financial affairs and latest crisis speculations Swiss banks never actually revealed the customers data? You must pay for trust. Kramer paid a lot, too.
3. My name is Mr. TICK-TACK
Polish president Alexander Kwaśniewski doesn’t like kitsch, after all he wears Phillipe Patek watch. As well as Daniel Roth, Jaeger LeCoultre and Frank Muller. He is not the only one who likes beauty shiny things. So does Miedviedev with his Breguet, Poutin with his Blackpain and Schwarzenegger with his Piguet. Even James Bond was lured by Swiss Omega. Yeah, these are all the most expensive watch brands, all produced in Switzerland. Luxury and quality must cost a lot, as the Swiss since centuries have collected royalties for the famous saying “precision like Swiss watches”.
Apart from the brands mentioned above, I would add also more familiar Rolex, Tissot, Cartier, Tag heuer, Rado and Longines. And if you can’t afford it, you may always show off with Swatch. Like me.